I've been trying to figure out what I wanted to write about after passing the 200K point mark. I was going to try to write some whitty and insightful post about looking back on all the things I learned in the rain. Today I was inspired to write by Lori Kim Polk's blog When you walk the same walk as your clients.. The Twilight Zone of Real Estate. She's going through what a lot of American's are going through right now - faced with hard economic times. I guess my post won't be whitty, but hopefully a little bit insightful for those of us facing difficult time.... Yes, I'm one of those people wondering about the future. My husband's company recently laid off people and may have another round of layoffs coming. My husband fortunately didn't make the first list, and we are hopeful he won't make the next either, but we kind of hold our breath and wait, plan for the worst and hope for the best.
With all of that said, I thought i would take my 200K point blog to talk about a little lesson I learned. Nearly every 'tragedy' in my life has turned into one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Of course I didn't see it that way when it was happening. I'll give you my best example - it is a bit on the personal side, so I hope you'll understand and be respectful with your comments.....
About 14 years ago my husband and I were at odds. We had a dreadful relationship, there was nothing positive going in our marriage except our two great kids. We filed for divorce but still lived together because of the kids - waiting for school to end. After the filing, the fighting stopped. It was just a waiting game then. My husband, started counseling. He didn't want the divorce, but didn't want to go to couseling when I wanted him to years before... now it was too late for me. I took the kids and left after school was out. I talked to him several times a week, when he called to talk to the kids. What I realized after a few weeks was that he was changing and I was remembering the old John. Slowly we fell back in love.... the day before the divorce proceeding, I called him and asked him if he wanted to try to work things out. We both called our attornies and let them know we didn't want to go through with it.
When the attornies shows up in court to stop the proceedings, they found the judge had already signed the documents - prior to actually hearing the case. Because technically this shouldn't have happened, he had to white out his name on the document. My husband still has the whited out divorce papers - he keeps them in his top drawer to "remind him of what he almost lost".
Today our marriage is the stuff fairy tales are made of. We deeply love each other and have three gorgeous kids. I can't imagine my life without him and our kids constantly tell us to get a room.... The truth is that without the divorce process, we would never be where we are now.... a happy, loving couple. It was the hardest time of our lives, but gave us the best thing in our life.... our relationship.
Not only has this impacted my relationship with my husband now, but I routinely find myself in situations where I have a friend going through similar circumstances. I let them talk and talk about my experiences with them. I have seen more than one relationship come back from the brink of divorce because they were able to have hope because they see what can happen..... with hard work and faith. This means that not only was my life positively affected by this negative event but others that I was able to help also benefited from our pain.
I can look back at virtually every single 'tragic event' in my life and find the same thing. In the end, life was better, not worse as a result of it..... I'm sure you've heard the saying that when God closes a door, he opens a window. While I believe that is true, what I believe to be more true to me is that I often find that when tragedy happens we are left banging on a door trying to get out, not realizing that we are already on the outside, banging on the wrong side of the door.
Look around at your surroundings and find what is, or could be great.... what is the opportunity you are being given at this moment and embrace it.
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Melissa Marro, a published artist, now turned staging advocate and national speaker speaks her mind about real estate and the home staging industry. In her 'no holds barred' approach, audience members find real answers to the industries pitfalls and learn how to overcome them with tried and true information and guidance. With marketing as her passion, she turned a small home based business into one of the nation's largest home staging and training facilities. Selling her successful home staging company in January 2012, Marro is now a full time speaker and instructor for Staging And Resign and Real Estate Staging Association (RESA)'s trade events.
For more information on having Marro speak at one of your real estate functions, please contact her at 843.619.1593 or email at marro.melissa@gmail.com
When we perform random acts of kindness, it can help touch the lives of those we know that may be struggling.
Every day we have is precious... we often just forget to appreciate that. Thank you for sharing your story!
Great blog Melissa.
It's hard to walk confidently in this world where there is so much "input" all the time. Listening to your gut instinct can be almost impossible. But you did hear it, and more importantly, you heeded it.
I'm so glad for you, your husband, and your family that you made that call, and saved so much more than just a marriage. You saved your family from so much heartache and disillusionment, and you guys have remained heroes to your children, and shown them a fine example of what loving someone means, in every sense of the word.
Congratulations on your happy marriage and your newfound perspective.
~Michelle
Behind dark clouds are silver linings, sometimes things happen that we don't understand why they happened only to find out later, something better was coming our way.
"When tragedy happens we are left banging on a door trying to get out, not realizing that we are already on the outside, banging on the wrong side of the door." That is so true! How sweet of you my friend. I will survive all this I know I will. Looking forward to looking back on the whole situation. Big kudos to you and your husband on sticking together and gettting through what you did. It truly shows alot to your children. Best to you Melissa.
Thank you for sharing that intimate story Melissa. I have had personal tragedy as well which has strengthened me hopefully sharpened my gut instinct. I'm glad you had a great ending.
Thank you for sharing such a great inspiring story. You are so right on with your post, I think when God closes a door he is trying to get you to turn in the right direction.
Melissa, that is a beautiful story and even though you have helped your friends, you may never know how many people here in the rain or in the internet world will read your story, see themselves and stop the divorce process. It is a beautiful thing.
What an intimate and courageous story! I'm so happy it all worked out the way it did for you both! You appreciate each other now, and that is so important. I have always been a believer in things happening for a reason.
Made me smile and gave me all the warm and fuzzies. Just love that! Enjoy your love!
Thanks for sharing-- I cannot think of one fight in 39 1/2 years,,,, my poor girl deserves a gold medal.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Melissa. We've all heard that hard times make way for good times ahead, but it's always good to hear it being true in the life of someone we know and care for. Your openness is a real encouragement. Thanks for trusting us.
Thank you for the warm and friendly comments. My hope is that when people find themselves in a difficult situation that they begin looking for the positive as its going on, not just in the future.... If you think there is a chance to look back at today and laugh, why not start now?
Oh... and special congrats on the 200k ;))
Thank you for being authentic, open and so intimate with us Melissa. Your blog made me cry happy tears. What a wonderful example you and your husband are to your children of what it means to honor one another and love another.
Melissa,
You have no idea how you bless those around you. Thank you for being God's little instrument.
Thanks for sharing your story Melissa, It is very hard to see the positive in a tragic situation,but you just have to train your mind to do it on a day today basis and then it becomes a daily habit. Here is a quote I have read and is dear to my heart.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.
Shobha
Shobha - what a great quote! thank you for sharing it!
Wow Melissa, I had no idea. What a fabulous story with a fairytale ending. I love it! But I'm a sap. Sometimes when God shuts the door, he's trying to make us stay in the room and work with what we got. What a great way to reflect!
Ah Michele, what a great perspective.... and as stagers, we definately need to learn to 'work with what we've got!"
Love your story Melissa and thanks for sharing.
You can't imagine what an inspiration this story is for me TODAY! Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. I am so grateful I logged on today.
I used to tell my students all of the time that we experience pain so that we can appreciate joy! If we don't know how bad it can hurt, we can't comprehend how good it can get. So glad you are in the "good" stages and can certainly appreciate what it took to get you there.
Melissa,
Yours is a beautiful story of two people who took their marriage vows seriously - thru the good and the bad. Congratulations to both of you for not letting your egos get in the way of true unconditional love.
"...the heart knows things that reason can't understand"
Merle Shain, When Lovers Are Friends
"More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse." Doug Larson
Not often we come across those successful stories; I am pleased to hear about your significant improvement. Thank you for sharing your blessed story Melissa! Congratulations, wish you more success.
Rima
Melissa-just found this post and was touched by it. I can't think of a more meaningful way to celebrate your 200k. I also was happy, as I read your post, to see that there was a "happy ending". Thank you for sharing your story.
Hi Melissa, I will take the end of your blog with me as an inspiration to start our Laborday weekend. "Look around at your surroundings and find what is, or could be great.... what is the opportunity you are being given at this moment and embrace it." I sometimes forget to stop and breeze.... Tks for sharing
Melissa - sorry this is a few month's old and I am just now getting caught up. Congrats on your 200k milestone and even more importantly CONGRATS on saving your wonderful marriage! Your kids are probably also better people for it. Thanks agin for being so positive and encouraging. We all need that now, more than ever.
Beautiful story - thanks for sharing, Melissa. I'm glad things worked out for you.
Melissa good for you and your husband. I really hope it works for the two of you. Modern day living can sure be hard on marriages. All the best!
Hi Melissa! I really enjoyed reading your post! I'm so glad that everything worked out for you!
Hi Melissa! I really enjoyed reading your post! I'm so glad that everything worked out for you!
Melissa.. I really hope that things have worked out for you. For me, I just received an offer on my house from an investor. Not good, but not that bad either. It all depends on whether the bank will accept it. If not.... I will have to walk. This whole economy is silly. I wish you both strength and resilience. You can do it. Ya just never know, I could be living in a cardboard box at conference, but boy will I be happy!
This blog was personal, up close and so very giving. It makes me believe all over again in the blessing that our Lord sends us. We just don't always recognize them.
Melissa, Thank you so much for sharing your very personal story to inspire others. And it is true . . . it's very difficult to see or understand when you find yourself knee deep in the midst of a storm, but looking back . . . I have been reminded that God's greatest blessings often have come my way disguised as disasters!
And by the way . . .CONGRATULATIONS on hitting your 200K!
Wow Melissa your family has truely been blessed! What an awesome story to teach others to NEVER loose HOPE!!!
I'm inspired that over 7 months later this story is still touching others... I just can't imagine how you found it, but thank you for the kind words.
Lori Kim - I never said it in this blog, but I'm glad that you were able to sell your home and it was GREAT meeting you at the RESA conference!
Melissa, what a wonderful story. Doesn't it show that everything you fell in love over is still there. Sometimes we lose sight of so much. I am so happy you are together and happy. You both deserve it.
Melissa, thank you for sharing. I think merrage is a hardest job ever. Sometimes when i am too critical about my husband i ask myselff a question:" did i stopped loving him?" than I recall days when all of the routing didn't matter. We are all just lazy to admit that we don't want to work on our love. it is strange beacause we are willing to do anything to have our business going and our merrage is secondary. to me it is not like that. I agree to loose in business if i keep my realtionship going.
It's funny that nearly a year later this blog keeps getting comments. I guess that it must touch a nerve with people.
Michelle - Thank you for your words. Everything is about perspective - we see what we want to see and forget what we don't want to see.... We can choose to see what's great, or choose to see what's not. Creating a happy life is all about choosing the right things...
Anna - I agree that far too many people are lazy with just about everything, including relationships today. It's so easy to just give up or walk away. Maybe if enough of us believe in working at love we'll get others to understand how valuable it can be!
Melissa, the blog must have come up again for a reason! Thanks for sharing. I have been with my husband 29 years and boy it can be tough going sometimes. :) Good counselors can make a huge difference. Our marriage gets better and better even though you have those "icky" days in there!
Dear Melissa, thank you for sharing your story with us and a great reminder for not taking things granted.
Melissa, as a woman whose husband finally got the Axe in a round of layoffs, I hear you.
Your story is very touching and I'm glad it all worked out for you. I'm sure if you have to face another bad patch you will be able to cope with it.
Lovely post! Sometimes we take for granted the most important people in our lives. You fortunately saw this and you and your husband pulled through. I wish you the best and will say a prayer that your husband continues to side-step the layoffs.